It has been forty-one years of marriage for Sue B and her husband. These last years have been better than when they first got married. When offering her advice on marriage, she suggests spirituality, humor, and support to get them through anything. Here is what Sue B writes:
I would add that a couple needs to include spirituality in their marriage. There will be times when things are so hard, you don’t know what to do. Who do you cling to during those times?
My mother died 2 months after we got married. (My dad had died of a heart attack 3 years earlier, so my big brother walked me down the aisle when we got married.) Mom was only 56 and my siblings and I were in shock. A year later, my youngest brother was killed in car accident just before Christmas.
Our first year of marriage, we had so many things happen. Besides Mom’s death, there was a huge snowstorm that basically closed down the mid-western city where we lived. Then that May, a huge tornado demolished a great portion of our city, including the neighborhoods surrounding ours. We were blessed that nothing happened to our apartment complex. It was strange to see destruction all around us, yet we were safe and sound. We moved that summer. I told me husband, “If we can make it through this first year, the next 49 should be a breeze!”
Humor in your marriage is also very important. If people take themselves too seriously, it is easy to become self-absorbed and only see your point of view. It is better to laugh at some things than to obsess about them. Humor can get a couple through some hard times.
If a couple is able to help each other grow, the marriage will be stronger. My husband helped me get through nursing school by supporting me when things were tough. He quizzed me before tests and always listened to my concerns, even when he didn’t understand. I listened to him talk about his work even though I was clueless about what he was talking about most of the time. But just listening was important to both of us. We acted as “sounding boards” for each other. Even if I would rather be doing something else than listening, it helped our relationship to do so.
We have been married 41 years now and are very much in love. In fact, we are closer than we were 40 years ago. We have had many ups and downs, but have persevered. It has been worth it.
This is such an awesome story of weathering the storm. Because the first couple of years of their marriage seemed crazy, they could have easily thrown in the towel. They decided to persevere through the hard times and look at them now. They have been married forty-one years and more in love than before. That is something worth striving for!