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the marriage life

Exploring the commitment of a real, life-long journey.

The Best Thing About Being Married

DSCN1042 (2)There are many great things about being married. I had to pause when I came across this question “What is the one best thing about being married?” I started thinking about all the memories that we share, the places we have been, the crazy things we’ve done, and then it came to me. Every one of those things involved sharing life with my husband.

[The single best thing about being married is experiencing life with the same person creating memories that will matter years down the road]

I can’t help but think of anything better. I get to create all these memories with someone that will literally matter for the rest of my life. When I think of memories in high school, they do not have the same meaning because I am not in contact with those people that I shared all those memories with. Memories are created, recreated, and remembered because of the people in our lives. I am so thankful to be able to look back five years and reminisce on memories with my husband. I am able to talk to him about it and take a trip down memory lane where we both can experience the same joy about it.

I love being able to eat my meals with my husband. It seems so little, but think about the times you eat by yourself and then get to share a meal with someone. Eating just seems so much better when you get to share it with someone important. We get to laugh at all the recipes I tried that didn’t quite work. We get to hold our nose (because it’s disgusting) and drink the tea with too much fresh lemon in it so we do not waste. We get to enjoy the recipes that did work and make sure we write them down to add to our menu!

I love being able to go to church with my husband. I love when I hear something from the pastor that really means something to me that my husband heard the same thing. I know when I try to tell other people that weren’t there they just don’t get it like my husband does. I love standing next to him in worship and holding his hand at the end during prayer.

I love going to football games with my husband. I know that is something he really cares about and I enjoy sharing that with him. I enjoy when he talks to other people about how awesome it is to have a wife that supports him during football season. That is important to me.

I love knowing every night I have a husband to fall asleep with and wake up to. I love knowing that he will protect me through the middle of the night no matter what. I love that even though we fight sometimes before bed we never sleep in separate rooms.

There are so many positives to being married. Everything that we do with our spouses should not be taken for granted. We should appreciate the little things like eating meals with one another. The best thing about being married is experiencing life with the same person knowing those memories will matter years down the road.

If you were asked the same question, “What is the one best thing about being married?”, what would your answer be?

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Forty-One Years of Marriage: Meet Sue B

It has been forty-one years of marriage for Sue B and her husband. These last years have been better than when they first got married. When offering her advice on marriage, she suggests spirituality, humor, and support to get them through anything. Here is what Sue B writes: 

I would add that a couple needs to include spirituality in their marriage. There will be times when things are so hard, you don’t know what to do. Who do you cling to during those times?

My mother died 2 months after we got married. (My dad had died of a heart attack 3 years earlier, so my big brother walked me down the aisle when we got married.) Mom was only 56 and my siblings and I were in shock. A year later, my youngest brother was killed in car accident just before Christmas.

Our first year of marriage, we had so many things happen. Besides Mom’s death, there was a huge snowstorm that basically closed down the mid-western city where we lived. Then that May, a huge tornado demolished a great portion of our city, including the neighborhoods surrounding ours. We were blessed that nothing happened to our apartment complex. It was strange to see destruction all around us, yet we were safe and sound. We moved that summer. I told me husband, “If we can make it through this first year, the next 49 should be a breeze!”

Humor in your marriage is also very important. If people take themselves too seriously, it is easy to become self-absorbed and only see your point of view. It is better to laugh at some things than to obsess about them. Humor can get a couple through some hard times.

If a couple is able to help each other grow, the marriage will be stronger. My husband helped me get through nursing school by supporting me when things were tough. He quizzed me before tests and always listened to my concerns, even when he didn’t understand. I listened to him talk about his work even though I was clueless about what he was talking about most of the time. But just listening was important to both of us. We acted as “sounding boards” for each other. Even if I would rather be doing something else than listening, it helped our relationship to do so.

We have been married 41 years now and are very much in love. In fact, we are closer than we were 40 years ago. We have had many ups and downs, but have persevered. It has been worth it.

This is such an awesome story of weathering the storm. Because the first couple of years of their marriage seemed crazy, they could have easily thrown in the towel. They decided to persevere through the hard times and look at them now. They have been married forty-one years and more in love than before. That is something worth striving for! 

Marriage Today: Why It’s Harder For Couples to Stay Together

Couples that have been married for a few months can relate to the struggles that come along with ‘I do’. Of course, there is that honeymoon phase… but it can easily be short lived or even non-existent. Marriage is seen as such a difficult task that many couples have been together for years and chose to never get married. Why are marriages today portrayed in such a negative light?

  1. The divorce rates are extremely high and continue to be on the rise.
  2. The adoption of the no-fault laws in the late 1960’s. This allows divorce to happen for any reason.
  3. Gender equality movement: Although a positive movement, the marriage roles are severely affected by this.
  4. Attitude towards sex- most people do not feel the need to wait for marriage for sex which decreases the desire for marriages.
  5. Alternative lifestyles (living together, living alone or staying single)- some people are perfectly content with the idea of never getting married.

Marriage is all about give and take. I have heard the saying a million times “You gotta keep it 50/50”. I wholeheartedly disagree. It has to be 100/100 from both people with the expectation for nothing in return. People who go into marriages with the mindset of what they can get out of it become very unhappy, fast.

This blog is going to be about real life experiences, blessings, and issues found in marriages. My hope is to let other people know they are not alone in their struggles and that marriages can be worth all the effort!

Much love,

M

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